Its my day of birth. Today.
So many have passed by. I have from experience that I am a little bipolar on my birthdays. I want my day to be recognized, for me to be the center of attention, to be spoiled, to be surprised. But, I also tend to be a little snarky and off color on birthdays. My wife has learned to tread carefully on these days. Some birthdays I am just depressed. I dont understand why. Maybe birthdays have never lived up to some false expectations. My wife tries to not to make the day too ostentatious, but to make sure I know that I am appreciated for who I am. I will rebel against fakery, and overblown celebrations in my honor. I do not at all mind putting effort into over the fancy parties and surprises for my wife but personally, Less is More.
Why is that?
I come from a family that was really low key emotionally. We didn’t express much positive, gregarious emo. Kinda kept it medium. At all times. Boring, but less stressful over all. I have since made choices to be more emotive in my later adulthood; to celebrate successes, to acknowledge failures, but not shame, to know that pursuing excellence through hard work and humility is honorable, to laugh inside and outside, to dance, to sing like no one is watching….
Emotions are a big part of what makes this life worth living. This year was worth celebrating. I am more authentically me today, than I was a year ago. Thank God.