Business, Busyness, Risk and Change

Just over two weeks. Unemployed. Its not so bad. My wife is very supportive and encouraging. She knew that the position that I had held for two years was very hard on my heart and head.

 Two years ago when we were both offered positions with this non-profit in another town, I was apprehensive, but excited. We were in love, and this was a big step into a new life together. The current Director at the faith based org where I was working told me it would be very hard.

And it was. Very hard.

 But I was ready to jump into this. “Yes” was my mantra now. Most of my adult life it had been “No” or “Maybe, let me think about it.” (more like overthink, ruminate, chew the cud, until the choice was taken from me)

 Procrastination mixed with negative thought patterns, a somewhat comfortable status quo(working in successful, small town, family business for thirty years) made it difficult to cultivate a mindset of risk and change. To my parents generation, leaving any position after only two years(without a solid backup plan and paid employment) would be considered a flaky decision.

 Today, not so much. Movement, change, adaptability is the norm in this century. I think I have a young enough attitude to flex with the times, to mold myself into new shapes.

 Change is good. Transformation at any age keeps the mind, body and soul from stagnating.

My Faith tells me that my loved ones and me will be taken care of.

 “Yes” is the only way forward, to success…again.

Reality? Or just Monday…

Being unemployed is a gift. Although I need to be planning, researching, networking, in search of the next step, the interim is a vital time for healing, restoration, reorganization, reidentification.

My last work was not just a job. It was a full life investment with my wife and kids. It was one third of three huge changes(marriage, location, employment) that we made together in search of deeper purpose and a peaceful, productive landing spot for the kids and us. My fiance and then brand new wife and I wanted to make a difference.

We felt pushed by tenuous family circumstances and an unsatisfying work environment. We felt called by a deep need in a social justice, faith based, non-profit homeless sector. We felt pulled by the need, by a stirring in our hearts and the desire to have meaningful work; work that we could do together. We were excited to risk and start our marriage life out by embarking on this journey and calling.

And so, to step away, deciding that my skills, my talents, my character was not what was best for the operation is tough. For one half of us to separate from the organization that brought us here seems like a failure, to me,………… me.